Oil Pump

- Whoa! What the...
- Go right, go right!
- I can't do that here - just a second.
- Gosh, what is that noise?

And thus ended our romantic trip towards the now-mythical city of Metz. I have now learned that when the oil-pump of the servo-system ("Direction Assistée") on your steering wheel meets the oil-pump-graveyard, this renders your car virtually useless: as it seems, this causes your carburator to stop charging the battery (I know, it doesn't sound reasonable, but I'm explained that this is a fact of life in our type of vehicle).
So, not only will you have to use every muscle in your arms to steer, but you will also use up all that hard-earned electricity in you battery, says the technician.

Now, when I'm stranded with a broken car, 10 miles outside of my own country (and not a member of any Europ Assisstance or the likes), seeing three days of romantic fun (what kids?) being flushed through the oil-pump, I get depressed enough to believe this stuff, but honestly: isn't a car supposed to drive around on diesel?
I mean: OK, so the diesel needs a little electricity to explode inside the engine (although there are some braincells that seem to remember that this is only necessary for classical gasoline - those braincells were probably actually physically present in the physics class), but have you seen the size of the batteries that go into the hood? If I compare this to the batteries that make a flashlight or ghettoblaster last for a week, these should basically render fuel useless for making a motor hum. I'm certain this habit of filling your tank with some liquid that supposedly makes the heart of a machine beat, is just a hilarious scam. I bet somebody is rolling on the floor of their UFO!
I'll tell you more: you have been at a gas station, you have seen the meter run (Euro's currently faster than liters), you have smelled the promise of explosion, read the non-smoking sign and inserted your bank card, but have you ever actually seen any fuel there, apart from the over-obvious rainbow glow in the puddles? The tubes are suspiciously black, and when pinching the handle, you get a sensation of flowing liquid, but are you sure that it is not just some recorded oil-pump-sounds that shape the illusion?
Cars exploding in movies: brilliant marketing.
If you look really well into the tank, you can actually see something that could be a small amount of water with detergent. I'm sure you could blow bubbles with it!

No, take it from the man who came back by train: there is no need for oil.

P.S.: fortunately, my beautiful friends helped me and my wife forget some of this tragedy by making us laugh at the Gentse Fieste. Thx Ward, Els and Stefaan!