Last evening, I had a bit of a rough time. My well-hidden fear of people reared its ugly head again. I realise more and more that I avoid talking to people, I don't have the guts to ask anyone to go out with me, and even those that I do ask, I cannot trust anough. When it comes to people liking me, I'm an olympic paranoiac.
Of course, this does not stop me from being jealous at my other half for being brilliantly sociable =)
Fortunately, she is also so much of a miracle that she responded immediately to my fatalistic SMS ('are you ever coming home?') by simply coming home, and not being mad at me for my stupidity. When the dust of the new schoolyear settles, and we get a little bit of insight on how busy our evenings are organised, I plan on looking for help on this - I manage alright, but I fear I may end up very lonely at 50 or so.
Well, then I managed to pick up my good mood again (the intense stress of a handle-5-servicerequests-at-a-time-day didn't even kill that), which is victory: normally, when I get down, there is only a way down, but this time I grabbed the rope and climbed out. Thank you Thom Yorke.
Or maybe: thank you Jeff Buckley. I put on 'Grace' and once again I got moved nearly to tears. The voice, the chords, the intensity, the warmth, the emotion. I think the only thing that is more beautiful than this music must be my family. Am I a freak now? If so, I shall yell at you: Grace is Everything! And you'll hear the capitals.
2 opmerkingen:
"I fear I may end up very lonely at 50 or so"
No way.
Who says so?
Mike.
Spelled f-r-i-e-n-d.
"I think the only thing that is more beautiful than this music must be my family"
Let me be straight with you : that's close to the truth. Partially based upon the fact that I know your family, partially based upon the fact that mine is still in the (anti-)conceptual phase, more than just partially based upon my humble opinion that MUSIC (and you see the capitals here) makes the world go round. Support deaf people!
When I'm on a dancefloor, everybody goes either 'what a show-off' or 'waw, he's better than Jamiroquai', but I mostly dance alone.
Metaphorically speaking, I need to learn to ask that gorgeous woman that I don't know if she wants to dance. I'm considering taking courses though =)
Either way, music surely makes my world go round. Any recent discoveries in my wavelength?
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